by Jane Diane Matthews on June 9, 2010
Wearing tight pants can be a difficult balancing act between sexy and “what was she thinking?” The latter is often caused by the infamous presence of a coochie highlighting “cameltoe.”
If you are concerned about showing off your most intimate secret to the world, then Camelflage is for you! Finally there is a way for sexy ladies to keep their potency under wraps. Camelflage is a unique, panty product that will allow you to “…feel safe and secure knowing you aren’t “that girl” everyone is laughing at behind your back” what a relief!
“If you are an active, fashion conscious or contemporary woman then Camelflage panties are for you” as you will be empowered to keep your vaginal powers a secret! All this protection can be yours for the low and affordable price of $19.99. Hurray?
by Jane Diane Matthews on May 27, 2010
Whether you have ever glanced at this blog or know me personally, I’ve always proclaimed my love for Lucky Brand Dungarees. I’ve suggested Pear Shapely gals buy Sweet-N-Low jeans, have nothing but Lucky Jeans in my wardrobe and previously have been a loyal employee and representative for the line.
That being said, the newest offerings from the manufacturer break my heart. The season look like an All-American fashion mash-up of the Gap, Polo and Abercrombie and Fitch, yawn. The even sadder reality is that the jeans are no longer being made in America.
When the brand first started it was based on Gene Montesano and Barry Perlman’s “ …life long passions [of] blue jeans and rock ‘n’ roll.” There is nothing more American then those two staples and 1990 marked the year that Lucky Brand was born. Part of the beauty of the product is that the founders stayed loyal to the motto “Rooted in Rock-n-Roll” and even after Liz Claiborne became the major share holder (May 1999, Liz acquired 85 percent of Lucky,) the jeans were hand made and finished right in the factory in Vernon California.
That is until recently. According to the current Wikipedia page (and past promotional material from the company) “Lucky products are manufactured in the USA, Mexico and Sri Lanka. All USA-manufactured Lucky jeans are made in Vernon, near downtown Los Angeles. In addition, the jeans manufactured in the United States are all hand-made, and all the detailing is done by hand, except for the actual washing process.” Consumers just need to check the website for the “COUNTRY OF ORIGIN: Imported” copy to know that this is no longer true.
Much to my chagrin, Lucky Jeans are now being made abroad. From a business perspective, it is a smart money saving trick as everyone knows labor in Mexico and Vietnam costs far less than manufacturing in the country. However, consumers need to be aware of the changes. Lucky is not passing these savings to consumers they are pocketing the difference. In doing so, there will be more sales and discounts for consumers to enjoy, but they are doing far less to invest in our local infrastructure. Admittedly, it is not their job to support the entire economy, but part of my love for the line came from the fact that they did.
It is obvious that money talks in this country, and that is why I make the effort to support local businesses whenever I can. Now since the Lucky look has been homogenized beyond their original concept and they have changed their manufacturing venue, my love for them has wavered. Since I left the company, I know that there have been many changes not only to the product quality but also throughout the corporation. Customers and staff that were Lucky Brand loyalists are not shining a positive light on the direction in which Lucky is headed.
If any Lucky Brand Representative reads this post, I invite you to partake in a dialogue to explain the changes. If you don’t want to speak with me directly, I understand. However, right now it needs to be noted that the denim you are selling is not worth the current price point of around $100 per jean. The production revisions you made will allow you to manufacture each for pennies to make.
My suggestion is to lower the price point on the internationally made jeans and still offer your American made denim at the regular price point. That way you will still maintain your roots while expanding your market share.
by Jane Diane Matthews on May 20, 2010
Regardless of your view of world politics, there is one fact that cannot be debated. Michelle Obama as firmly established herself both as a style icon but as an excellent role model for pear shaped women. Of course her unlimited budget and level prestige allows her to be draped in the most fabulous of garments, including this stunning beauty from Peter Soronen:
The shoulder bearing, cleavage-enhancing look is amazing and the royal blue color truly makes the Michelle look regal. Of course this gown is perfectly constructed to make her pear shaped figure look its best courtesy of the draped fabric and the cinch-waist detail. Oh what I would not do to not only own this dress but to have an invitation of an event worthy enough of the look.
Alas, I do not but prom season is in full effect and wedding season is right around the corner so if you are a pear shaped gal wanting to get Michelle Obama’s look for less, I’ve made it really easy. If you want to score a similar look Pacific Plex has a beautiful option priced well under $100 ($73.99):
This blue would work with a wide array of flesh tones, however the gown comes in a fully array of colors (red, black, fuchsia, gold and purple) and the construction is perfectly suited to highlight your luscious curves. No belt detail is required, as the ruched waist detail will naturally show off your curves.
Michelle is wearing some very expensive, diamond earrings and the Constellation Earring ($57) by Hurricane by Jane would mimic the effect on a budget:
The final pieces needed are some great silver shoes and a coordinating metallic clutch. The lovely
Mossimo Heulwen Sparkle Sandals ($19.99:
Plus this
Crystal Round Faux Leather Clutch Evening Bag ($19.99) will finish off the look:
Excluding the earrings designed by little ol’ me, the entire look can be purchased on Amazon.com. The total base price for all four pieces is $170.97, which should leave plenty of spare change in your prom budget!
by Jane Diane Matthews on May 12, 2010
After years of Jesus and Mary appearing in water stains, tortillas and grilled cheese sandwiches, God’s other “main player” has made a special guest appearance. What dubious form did El Diablo take to round up his minions? A canned pear of course:
A New Zealand woman, Wendy McMahon, was exposed to a small slice of Hell on Earth when she recently opened a can of Budget Brand pears. She snacked on one pear without incident, but when she went for round two, the ghoulish face greeted her instead.
It was surely the power of the devil pear that forced her to photograph the fruit and post it online. However, with her last breath of free will, McMahon called the 800 number on the can to report that Lucifer was in the house. A representative from the manufacture first scolded McMahon for “going public” with the images of the dark pear prince, but eventually sent the woman a voucher for her troubles. In return McMahon returned the pear so Heinz-Wattie’s (the manufacture) could investigate the fruity find.
by Jane Diane Matthews on April 26, 2010
On a hot summer’s day, nothing is as refreshing as a glass bottle of Coca Cola. Regardless of the season, Bolivian cola fans will soon be getting an extra boost from their beverage. Many die-hard fans of the beverage know that when the elixir first came out, cocaine was one of the main ingredients in the beverage. Thanks to Coca-Colla, a new local beverage, the trend lives on!
Evo Morales is the mastermind behind the new product launch. Not only is the gentleman president of the country he is a renowned coca grower. According to FastCompany.com, His administration “backs the coca leaf for legitimate uses, including teas, liqueurs, toothpaste, and now Coca-Colla.” Additionally, his team has thrown out local drug enforcement officials and in theory have just won their fight on the “war of drugs.”
Depending on how well this product does, Bolivian officials are considering allowing up to 20,000 hectares of land for coca production. Currently the nation legally allows 12,000 hectares of land dedicated to the growth of coca.
by Jane Diane Matthews on April 5, 2010
Sometimes I equate junk food to being like crack. Behind the glistening and glossy exterior is temptation. Behind that desire there is evil as the chemical ingredients will lead to addition, fueled by inappropriate behavior and your body will pay the ultimate price for the sin. George Jolicoeur is the fat and pathetic poster child for this type of problem:
The 600 pound man was recently arrested for scamming restaurants and convenience stores. This robust man made fake claims about the condition of the food items he purchased and tried to get money in return. Two of his favorite crack flavors were Slim Jims and ice cream.
After charging him with the crime, George entered a “no-contest plea.” That action allowed the local court system to breath a sigh of relief as getting it tried in the Seminole County court house would have been a fiscal disaster. Due to his massive weight as this chunky male has been bed ridden in a nursing home for months. The burden of transporting the culprit to the courthouse would have become the financial responsibility of the county. According to Assistant State Attorney Kyan Ware, the 38-year old criminal is already “…in his prison cell,” the entrapment of his overweight body.
Criminals, take note. If you are scared that you will be caught for your crimes, then packing on the pounds may be a way to avoid a prison stint. Ladies need also pay attention as I think this stud is also a bachelor, hurray?
by Jane Diane Matthews on March 22, 2010
Our country has an obsession with breasts. Nearly everyone appreciates them for the life and comfort they provide regardless of their size. Women love theirs. Men tend to like anyone’s regardless of whether they are big, small, natural or fake.
Despite the love of the jugs, Disney has put a ban on fake breasts in the next installment of the “Pirates of Caribbean” series. The recent casting call from the production house stated their search for “…beautiful female fit models. Must be 5ft7in-5ft8in, size 4 or 6, no bigger or smaller. Age 18-25. Must have a lean dancer body. Must have real breasts. Do not submit if you have implants.”
Actresses auditioning for movie roles will be required to pass a jiggle test to ensure the authenticity of their personal treasure chests. The movie, currently being filmed in Hawaii, will involve swordplay, swimming, diving and tons of movement that will make real breasts look just wonderful
Johnny Depp will once again play Captain Jack Sparrow. His character is known for his lascivious behavior and a healthy bust line is part of the essential props. In the previous films there were enhanced actresses portraying the “whorish” look associated with harlots of the 18th century. The current goal is not to have fake boobs, as they are distracting to the audience.
by Jane Diane Matthews on March 17, 2010
Ever since Kirstie Alley thanked Parker Stevens for giving her the “big one” during her Emmy acceptance speech, I’ve been a fan. Alley has a wicked sense of humor, is willing to make herself the butt of her own jokes and has held her head high despite the media picking on her for her weight gain and choice to follow Scientology.
After bulking up and earning the title (and TV show) named “Fat Actress“, she turned the negative around and secured a lucrative endorsement with weight loss line Jenny Craig. We all watched the mother of two shed 75 pounds on the program, hurray! After the fact, we also saw the slew of tabloid photos that documented her subsequent weight gain.
Like a true American underdog story, Ms. Alley is once again dusting off a diet regimen. This time she is doing with her own weight loss company, Organic Liaison, known for being “the first certified organic weight loss and management system in the world.” Despite media claims, this program is not a front for Scientology as Ms. Alley claims to be “too cheap” to share any of the profits from the venture with them.
When Kirstie was a spokesperson for Jenny Craig, each weight loss milestone was documented with the release of a new commercial. Viewers never had the opportunity to catch a glimpse of the efforts behind the scenes and were only presented with images of the final product. This time it is different.
Along with the launch of her product, Kirstie is also the star of a reality show focusing on the process. Kirstie Alley’s Big Life will air on A & E and has a scheduled premier date of March 21, 2010. The “plot” of the show revolves around Kirstie running the weight loss company, tending to her children and her quest to find love. These are just the sub-plots to the main goal of her trying to shed her unwanted weight for good.
What the weight loss program does encourage is for people to eat organically, choose low-processed food and make healthier food choices. The diet is calorie-based and includes three supplements that are promoted as an appetite suppressant and a body cleanser. Consumers can choose membership ($10 per month or $89 per year) or opt to purchase weight loss products through the website (no membership required).
At this point it is to early to gage the success of her weight loss line. Conceptually, no one can argue with the basis of the diet since selecting whole foods is a smart move. However, the proof is in the organic pudding and only time will reveal the truth. Regardless of whether or not she loses an ounce, her quirky persona is well suited to engage an audience, and she will most likely gain ratings for every pound she does eventually shed.
by Jane Diane Matthews on March 15, 2010
Manufacturers have had a longtime obsession with vaginal grooming. For decades the airways have asked women “have you ever had that not so fresh feeling.’ Many of them have unnecessarily answered, “why yes” and ran to their local drugstore to buy unmentionables for our snootches. Muff-So-Soft is a new twist on this sad trend:
Proper ladies know that shampoos, douches, vulva dyes and deodorants are a no-no for our most delicate of parts. All these products have the unsavory affect of screwing with our natural PH and bacteria levels. Plus making your crotch smell minty fresh can negatively impact your sex life. We maintain natural pheromones down there to attract mates on an animal level and masking it with that minty fresh feeling may not behoove you.
Nearly everyone can benefit from a bit of landscaping is but in general, this product begs for the counter argument of leaving well-enough alone!
by Jane Diane Matthews on March 11, 2010
Pink Floyd rocks! True classic rock fans (pear shaped or not) love them and hold a special place in their heart for sixth studio album, “Dark Side of the Moon.”
The album (not the CD, MP3 or electronic downloads) was conceptual. The idea behind the music came from Roger Water’s. Inspired by the trials and tribulations of band mate Syd Barret, he suggested insanity as the common thread of the work. Fellow band members David Gilmour, Richard Wright and Nick Mason all agreed.
Under the watchful production eye of Alan Parsons, the band used the most advanced recording techniques of the time with an emphasis on multitrack recording. The artistry and depth of this album has made it the largest commercial success for Pink Floyd, accounting for nearly 45 million copies sold per date. Along with many other fine musical contributions this work has helped earn the band the notoriety of having the second most valuable song catalogue in the world (The Beatles ranked number 1).
To enjoy this truly spectacular work requires a complete listen from beginning to end, and a British court agrees with popular opinion. Pink Floyd just won their court battle against EMI who wanted to break up the album and profit on its parts in the form of ring tones and single song sales. The band asserted that they had a contract clause to “preserve the artistic integrity of the albums, and the judge agreed. Not only is EMI prevented from selling off bits of pieces of the album, but they were ordered to repay the band $90,000 in legal fees racked up in the case.
Although this decision may have a negative impact on the digital download industry, music lovers will rejoice! No one should waste their time bastardized version of their favorite tune via a cell phone ring. This album should stay intact and be enjoyed in one sitting, and thanks to one smart judge, it will be!
